When Frustration Hits You

For a while, I was really happy to find out that she wants to regain her hearing. We spent all our lives shouting at each other because she couldn’t hear us properly.

I was looking forward to the day that she would finally get to hear us, hear me. And then, the news.

He said that she no longer wants to get a hearing aid. She said she hears fine daw and that she’ll get a hearing aid next time na lang daw.

This is so freaking frustrating. Why does she live in continuous denial? She really doesn’t get it. We were never close because it has always been hard to communicate with her. I always have to raise my voice so she could hear me. It’s stressful and we only get by with a few words.

I’ve always longed to talk to her like we’re two friends. I want to share with her what happens in my life. I want to tell her what’s happening with that legal process I’m going through.

I want her to be able to hear her sisters. I want her to be able to hear her other children. That freaking hearing impairment has always been the reason why we were never be able to be close to her.

And now she doesn’t want to get a hearing aid anymore. Saka na lang daw. Ma, you’re 70 years old. You’re getting old. Saka na lang may be too late. I don’t want to get to that point where we all regret what could have been.

Sigh, Lord. Please touch her heart and help her realize how her life could be more fruitful when she can hear clearly again.