Dear BM (aka the Other Woman)

Now that my annulment has been officially granted, let me address you for the first and last time.

It was in Feb. 21, 2013 when I confirmed that you were having an affair with my (now ex) husband. No, don’t deny it by saying that you were the one urging him to give our marriage a chance. Don’t give me that crap. 

All I know is that ever since you became a staff of my ex-husband, you have always been after him, that you’ve always had a crush on him. I know all your texts and emails to him. I know the nightly chats you had with him. This was even confirmed by your ex-boyfriend J (remember him?).

I will always take pride in the fact that I never exacted revenge against you. Oh, let me correct that. I told your long-time boyfriend J about your affair that’s why you two finally broke up.

You are lucky I never told your parents about your affair. I could have had, considering your dad and I worked together in the same company. But I chose to be the better person. As I’ve always told my friends, the punishment is not mine to give.

Now that I’m free from this sham of a marriage, let me take this opportunity to thank you for what you’ve done. I reached rock-bottom because of you but it is also because of what you did that made me who I am today.

I wouldn’t be this happy if I didn’t have the courage to leave my marriage. I wouldn’t have taken wonderful trips with loved ones if I stayed married with a narcissistic man. I wouldn’t know my strength and my worth if you didn’t come into the picture.

And for all this, despite the harrowing pain you put me through, I thank you.

I will go on with my life, knowing that I am the better and stronger woman. I will go through life with the strong conviction that I am and will always be an honest woman. I will always have a clean conscience. 

But you will always be marked the other woman. That whatever happiness you felt when you were with my ex-husband, you achieved that through deceit. 

And even when you have kids, you can never escape that tiny voice inside your head that you ruined a marriage. And you will never escape that nagging thought that your husband might be cheating on you. That is the karma you will have to pay for the rest of your life.

I thank you and I forgive you. And I hope that for what it’s worth, you have learned valuable lessons. And I pray that you don’t have to go through what you put me through.

R

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