Appear, Disappear

You know that childhood game? Appear, disappear. One-half, one-fourth. One-fourth. Disappear, appear.

Just rambling because that is today’s theme for someone who appears and disappears. He appears when he needs something. He disappears when it’s done. Shit.


And this is Iris Simpkins, my favorite character in the movie The Holiday. She was miserably in love with Jasper for three years. Three fucking miserable years! And then she finally realized that they are not meant to be (because Jasper is mainly a douchebag). Malapit ko na ding isipin yan kay Billy.

And in a moment when Iris was feeling bad about herself (because again, Jasper is a douchebag), she said this:

I’ve found almost everything ever written about love to be true.
Shakespeare said “Journeys end in lovers meeting.” What an extraordinary thought.

Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had.
I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives.

It was Shakespeare who also said “love is blind.” Now that is something I know to be true.

For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night.

And then, there’s another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims.
It’s called unrequited love.

Of that I am an expert.

Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us?
What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone?
We are the victims of the one sided affair.
We are the cursed of the loved ones.
We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded.
The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!

Yes, you are looking at one such individual.

And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life!
The worst Christmas, the worst birthdays, New Years Eve’s brought in by tears and Valium.
These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life.
All because I’ve been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back.

Like I said, I’m rambling. Leche.